Since the murders in Connecticut, I’m stuck.
I can’t write a word on my novel or a post in my blog because I can’t move forward without talking about what happened.
When tragedies happen, we look for the why – it’s human nature. Why is a way for us to wrap our minds around such a thing that we cannot yet comprehend. We ask why this happened and why did he do it and why didn’t we see the signs and why, why, why.
When the murderer kills himself, we say we are never going to find out why he’s committed such a crime against innocent babies, their teachers and his own mother.
The truth is there is no answer.
There is no explanation.
There is no why. And even if there was a why ~ even if he did provide his version of a reason, it wouldn’t matter because there is no explanation that could make sense to any of us.
The truth is people do bad things and sometimes those things are so bad that it breaks your heart and tears a little piece of your soul.
An answer to a why would never help me or you or those parents.
Many people since the murders have been playing the if only game.
– if only there were more gun control
– if only there were religion in schools
– if only the parents saw the signs and got him help
– if only there were better security at the school
– if only there were better mental care
– if only, if only, if only
The truth is that we don’t know what would have happened if only because if only didn’t happen. 27 people lost their lives in a senseless act that has no explanation because there is no explanation and was not prevented because it’s possible the murders were not preventable.
A tough pill to swallow, but those are the facts.
We can use our ‘if onlys’ to take measures to prevent something like this in the future, but the truth is people do bad things and no amount of preparation is going to stop that.
So what’s left now?
Now we grieve and cry for others lost and for those who have lost, now we appreciate our loved ones a little more and now we try to remember that the vast majority of us do care about one another.
Are you finding yourself stuck? How are you dealing with the tragedy? Avoiding? Questioning? Raging? Crying?